Opposites Attract

“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.” 

― John Steinbeck

From a tender age, I have always heard two trains of thought when it came to dating compatibility. On one end, there is the similarity belief that focuses on being with someone very similar to oneself; on the other is the complementarity belief that says opposites attract and one needs an opposite (of some sort) to have a successful relationship. In a blue pill, egalitarian aspiring world, the former tends to be the pushed belief for men when trying to coerce intimacy from women. Drawing from personal experience, I remember my logic of trying to identify with women as a way to attain intimacy as I believed creating as little friction as possible was the best way to her heart. Suffice it to say, as I got older I realized this belief was the furthest thing from the truth.

Blue Pill men today have been brought up in the belief that everyone is somewhat equal. This ideology has picked up an immense amount of traction over the past 20 odd years as Feminism and other groups have become major influencers in the culture – especially in the education sector. As a result, they now have significant vehicles, such as liberal universities and the film industry to push their idealized beliefs. Now, with young people having been brought up being educated by TV shows and movies, these beliefs take root from a tender age. This egalitarian belief spreads its wings into the dating game and identification game becomes the default. Since everyone is equal and male-female is deemed as ‘social constructs’, men are taught that they can act similarly to women. As such, men now believe that by behaving similarity to women, they will be noticed and appreciated for their efforts. I find myself laughing at this belief because it is clear that the evidence does not support this way of thinking. For every nice guy that changed himself to be more like the girl and was successful (define success), there are thousands of men fucking the girlfriends of guys like these. One can even observe men becoming illuminated as they post stories online bemoaning the fact that their beloved snowflakes are being pumped and dumped by assholes – men who are the complete opposite.

Through simple observation, one can see that nature is inherently unequal and somewhat opposite – this stays true for men and women. Identification game is not an effective or efficient game tactic because it doesn’t take into account that opposites truly do attract. In the eyes of a woman, she is attracted to that which she has not yet experienced. Today, we can see this happening as most girls now have become independent and are pushing to ‘explore’ and ‘experience’ life (the carousel) so she will better ‘understand herself’. Consequently, when one approaches these women with traits and likes similar to hers, she sees that individual as someone who has not yet understood himself or experienced life and thus, is not attractive. Any other man now has become much more attractive in the eyes of said woman because they all hold experiences that she has yet to explore. This is evident in Sheryl Sandberg’s famous quote:

“When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”

Quotes like these illicit aggressive responses by crushed blue pill men because they have spent their lives trying to identify and become more like women that they now see their logic has been flawed since its inception. Worse yet, these men may even agree with what Sheryl says as another way identify with the female gender – the rational of blue pill men is appalling.

The idea of making oneself similar to women is highly unattractive to women. In their own theory, they may cry and say they want such men, but in actuality it proves contradictory. Science also debunks this train of thought. Based on studies done, it sheds light on the belief between similarity vs complementarity. All participants in this study were female, so it does provide a great setting. The results shows that complementary partnerships (submissive people with dominant partners and vice versa) reported more satisfaction than did those with similar partners. Another study in 1991 found that women in complementary pairs liked each other more after interacted for 75 minutes than did women in non complementary pairs. These results suggest that complementarity between two partners enhances their attractiveness to each other. In being a dominant opposite, you provide a strong frame for the relationship to grow and for her femininity to flow. Without that masculine presence, hypergamous doubts will set in and she will take it upon herself to fill that void, whether by becoming more masculine or finding a masculine guy. In being a weak submissive, you become a beta orbiter or at best, her ‘best friend’. Similarity in the realm of inter-gender dynamics will never truly be natural or satisfactory, strive to be polarizing in your conquest as it provides the rock and frame they all yearn to live in.

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Covert Warfare

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” – Sun Tzu

Warfare between the sexes has been present for as long as the influence of power in society. Men, being the more physically dominating force has always been overt in battle. As a result, highly masculine countries tend to be more violent than that of feminine countries, and this has been so since the beginning of civilization. Women however, being aware of their physical inferiority evolved over the centuries to become much more cunning and covert in their combats. In pre-historic times where men’s physicality was prioritized in society due to threats of the physical nature (beasts and rival tribes), men strived and stood at the forefront of societal power. However, for women to survive in these conditions they needed to be able use their cunning to ensure the survival of themselves and offspring. This meant that they would use their mental abilities to seduce and procreate with the elite men in their environment, the alpha males. As generations passed and with women learning more ways to conceal their guile, they became even more Machiavellian in their agendas and subsequent actions. This upper hand in the dark arts in addition to the demonization of outward physical violence resulted in not only the equal playing field but a power shift from male to female. Fast forward to today and we can observe the mental gymnastics women put men through without some of them even realizing.

One of the main reasons why the 48 Laws of Power is such a powerful and popular book amongst men, specifically those in competitive industries is due to the fact that most men do not understand covert, mental warfare. This excludes psychopaths, sociopaths and the like who are minute in numbers but powerful in ability. For men, since we have the power and ability to mold the world through the physical, the mental aspects of war (at least throughout the masses) has never been the default. If one looks at these laws objectively, one can observe that they follow the lines of the feminine mindset. Law 3, ‘Conceal Your Intentions” is an example of such a law. Women, through centuries of evolution have become extremely apt at concealing their agenda. This can be seen when women subtly flirt with men just enough to get them interested but not enough to make concrete their intentions. This form of craftiness is used by beautiful women since they already know the power of their appearances. When applied correctly, women are able to gain wealth, emotional support and other perks from men without actually giving in but simply showing promising signs of becoming theirs.

Law 5 is also a popular law used by most women in general, but specifically in social settings and the dating game. Reputation, especially for women is indeed very valuable. For most, reputation can mean the difference between acquiring a high quality man in a LTR or being passed around. I’ve slept with innocent looking women who told me secrets that would never make me even consider wifing them up, but in the eyes of her suitors and even boyfriends, they are as pure as the sacrificial lamb. The importance of reputation is also why women and gossip have always been synonymous; women who gossip understand the power of rumors and doubt. By concocting stories that are inflammatory which can create doubt about a woman’s social standing or sexual history, this can destroy their ability to acquire a quality man or elevate in the social hierarchy. Furthermore, this also shows why women become anxious when in the presence of both a present and former lover. In the mind of the present she is a catch but the ex has experienced things that is most likely buried deep into her memory bank that will not be said, at least not voluntarily.

Law 6 intertwines closely with the aforementioned as women crave attention, even when they state otherwise. This can be observed quickly in most women since they are very solipsistic. Women will never look at the world through abstract, objective eyes but through the lenses of herself and how it affects her. In Mad Men (one of my favorite shows), Don’s first wife, the beautiful Betty Draper is the epitome of a solipsistic woman. She found countless ways to make even the most trivial of things have a connection to her or their relationship. This is how women think. Regardless of what the topic area may be, they will find a way to make a connection and act accordingly. This can also be one of the reasons why they have been so apt at the cunning as without it they would not be acknowledged as a high valued woman. The knowledge of this evolution works wonder from men in the know, but blue pill idealist will forever moan the ‘complexities’ of women.

With the evolution of civilization to that of a more secure and prosperous one, western society has therefore demonized overt warfare. This is seen as physical violence and even contact sports have become softer as each year passes by. One can look at these actions as a way to make the environment much more comfortable for female’s presence. However, even with the removal of the open form of combat there will always be a substitute – the concealed forms, because war can never be fully removed. One way of fighting covertly is through the use of the Red Pill when dealing with women. On the surface it may not seem this way but look a bit deeper and one will realize that being equipped with Red Pill knowledge makes one better at relating with and dominating women – not in a physically abusive way but through the mind. This is why every man should understand the need for covert warfare. The great Sun Tzu said it perfectly, “Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories”. As men learn to build their physical bodies as well as their mental abilities, they will become an unstoppable force that can adapt to any situation that is presented. Become that man and your life will become exceptionally greater.

Dominance and Leadership: Relationships

“…Masculinity pertains to male dominance as femininity pertains to female subordination.” – Sheila Jeffreys

Recently I was conversing with a girl in my life when she mentioned her satisfaction with the dynamic we hold in our relationship. She referred to the dynamic that assumes me as the leader and herself, the follower. For most men, this dynamic is one that does not exist in their favor since women of this generation are brought up being taught that men are nothing without them and they need to control men’s interests. This is particularly prevalent because men have also been indoctrinated in the belief that they should just be grateful to have women in their lives. However, these teachings of a matriarchal system goes against the nature of female sexual arousal. Power and superiority, two of the essential traits that trigger arousal in a woman, is needed for a relationship to be become and remain successful. By men accepting a secondary role, they covertly imply that their women are superior and this implication diminishes any emotion (other than contempt) very quickly. This creates a social and sexual dynamic where men are required to constantly aim for approval or else they are not considered ‘real men’. They are advised to follow what they are told (“I’d have to ask my wife/girlfriend if I can…”) and women’s wants are prioritized above their individual interests.

Historically, men have been the leaders in society and by extension, relationships and the family unit. Though this entailed making all major decisions – both easy and difficult – as well as always being ‘on’, men enjoyed and thrived in this position. Because men are wired to be natural leaders and problem solvers, this position typically allowed them to actualize their potential which helped both the family and society at large. In a patriarchy, women expect their men to be strong, decisive and masculine because they understand that these traits ultimately make their lives more fulfilling than it is. Only these women understand that by assuming the responsibility of being the assistant in the relationship that they get more out of life. The truth is, a woman deeply craves a dominant leader in her life. However, because of the current social standing and women’s adeptness for the cunning, if men are subservient, women will not vocalize their want for a powerful man. They may continue to be in a relationship but it is usually for the ego strokes they will receive by controlling the dynamic and consequently, controlling the resources men would be able to provide that they cannot acquire on their own.

In being a submissive provider, a woman may be attracted to the idea of becoming the primary individual in a relationship, but she will never be aroused or respect it. In matters of love, arousal trumps attraction and respect does the same with love. One of the disservices men have and continue to face today is the notion that they are able to experience love in the same way a woman does. Understand this – only a woman can experience the emotional entirety of love in a way that does not make her unattractive. It is men who, regardless of emotion, must be the immovable foundation in this dynamic. This means that you don’t give yourself to fleeting feelings of love but you guide that feeling in her to make the relationship successful. Women will die believing they want a man that gives his all to her, but as soon as this wish is granted, she will feed off those vulnerabilities until there is nothing left to offer her. If you listen to any woman talk about an alpha male she is in love with, you will hear similar themes of the guy not being open with her and not changing for her. Question is, why do they not leave these relationships? It is simple, the guy is leading her into a plethora of emotions that only he can weather. As soon as he gives in and does what she says (following), she loses interest because she is in the unnatural position of leading.

From the outside looking in, the allure of leading may push a woman to want it but as soon as she is in the eye of the storm, she wishes for her Superman to rescue her. Only until you realize and actualize your masculine, dominant nature will you be able to attract, keep and satisfy the women in your life.

Female’s Sexuality & Marriage

In the early 1900s, both love and sex saw a massive cultural change in Russia. With the emergence of Communism at the time, they made major strides toward the idea of ‘free love’, free abortions and no-fault easy divorce in the state. This change brought about mass impregnation of women in the country without the commitment of a provider (men). This period actually coined the now used term, ‘alpha widow’ we in the Manosphere use frequently. When these women had become impregnated by these noncommittal men, the State assumed responsibility for taking care of these children and the mother. As this trend continued for years, institutions and facilities such as State daycares began filling up at unsustainable rates and this saw a steep decline in the quality of these facilities. As it became apparent that this system was not sustainable or beneficial to the country, Russia had to move from this ideology because there were not enough productive families in the nation and too few children being born and raised (as a result of a massive abortion rates). The country reverted to the previous regime that saw the criminalization of abortion and a drastic decrease in welfare benefits, forcing people to not depend on the State anymore.

Though Russia’s failed attempt in the early 1900s was widely known, a large number of young people in the United States adopted the Free Love ideology in mid to late 19th century. Since then, we still observe semblances of the ideology today – one in the form of Feminism and other associated movements that push the egalitarian beliefs of biology and sexuality. Since these movements became prominent in the culture, marriage has seen a substantial dip in success (also dip in marriage rates) and women have become more unstable when considering long term relationships and marriage. Throughout the Manosphere there is a strong held notion that if you are seeking to share a life with a woman in the terms of marriage or LTR, she must have a very low notch count (or virgin, if you can find one) or at least not be an alpha widow. Women today who hear these wants from men typically get on the defensive and proceed to argue that we are all equal and “if men can do it, so can we”. On the surface this seems fair, however we in the Manosphere know that both genders have very different mechanics which goes against the equality trope spewed by society today.

The people at Heritage Foundation did an in-depth study on premarital sex and its likely outcomes within marriage. This post will specifically touch on a few of the results they got and how it affects us men today in the realm of looking towards marriage.

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The table above shows the estimated number of sexual partners a woman will have based on how early she engaged in intercourse. This graph is important because it can help gauge the number of sexual partners your woman or potential LTR women would have had before meeting you. There are always outliers but the chances of having an outlier in your life is not very probable. Since most women do lie about their notch count once they’ve already looked at you as a ‘relationship guy’, talking about first sexual encounters in a light manner should bring her defenses down enough that she would say when she had her first sexual encounter. Upon getting this information and analyzing this graph, you should be able to gauge roughly the number of sexual partners she’s had – taking into consideration factors such as her age etc.

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Women/girls who began sexual activity in their early years (teens) have greater difficulty in forming and sustaining stable marriage. In Red Pill terminology, because they have had as much cocks at an early age, their ability to pair-bond diminishes. Girls who initiate sexual contact at ages 13 or 14 are less than half as likely to be in stable marriages once reaches their 30s.

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These particular graphs shows the the link between sexual activity and happiness/depression. More than half the women who began sexual activity at ages 21 or 22 report that they are currently ‘very happy’ in life. In contrast, only 1/3 of women who began sexual activity at ages 13-14 report they are currently ‘very happy’. In the second graph, results show that around 7% of women that started sexual activity at ages 13 or 14 report that they currently feeling unhappy.However, those who started at ages 21 or 22 only accounted for 3% unhappiness. These graphs are also crucial because you don’t want to be the guy in the  5 year relationship who hears her say that she’s bored and she needs to “find herself” to become happy.

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Women who had 0 sexual partners before marriage were estimated to have an 80% success rate in marriage. Interestingly enough, just 1 sexual partner outside of marriage drops the success rate to 53%. From here the numbers continue to decrease as sexual partner count rises. Personally, this to me is probably the most valuable graph because it gives credence to the notion that you should marry a virgin woman or at least a women with no more than 2 partner counts, though the success rate goes into the negative end at partner 2.  Lastly, a study based on data from the National Survey of Family Growth 1995 cycle involved over 6500 women showed that cohabitation before marriage was another factor that increased the risk of subsequent divorce of a couple. This is because those couples who practice cohabitation tend to not value marriage highly and are likely to divorce when stress is put onto marriage. Other than this fact, Rollo specifically touches on the idea of cohabitation and why its a terrible idea for men. One of his Iron Rules: “NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months” is pretty much spot on when compared to the statistics given above, though the reasons are different.

In conclusion, these graphs are more or less self-explanatory, it continues to give validity to the old age belief that a woman’s past is very important when gauging for LTR or marriage potential. In an age where divorce can literally ruin a man’s entire life and his empire, information such as these should be taken into consideration when making major relationship decisions. As fellow blogger McQueen once tweeted, “who you marry (if you do) will be the most important decision you ever make in life, better make sure she’s up for the job”. As such, I advise fellow men to not be naive when looking for a serious relationship with a woman and take steps to make sure you’re making the right decision.