The Long Game

***This article is much differently written and formatted than my usual posts because I felt the need to vent quickly and shortly. However, as you guys can see I’m back so expect regular posts from here on***

“The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term, is the indispensable prerequisite for success.” Brain Tracy

For the majority of my childhood life forced me to delay gratification. As a child I didn’t grow up in the best of neighborhoods (actually, one of the worst) and my family didn’t have the financial means to live as smoothly as I would have liked. I can recall getting 50⊄ to a dollar at primary school because the family went through some extra rough financial patches. I remember being 14 years old throwing a tantrum at my dad because my friends were able to get things they wanted and I couldn’t. He let me finish then told me to suck it up and be grateful for what I had. In secondary school, when I was given an allowance he would always say, “it isn’t much but make it work” and this carried on until I got to college. I had to “ban my belly” for the sake of enjoying something at a later date. With the money for school, I would save 90% of it to have the chance to go to the movies with a girl or chill somewhere over the weekend. At the time I didn’t fully understand why I had to be the one to live this life; I also didn’t like that I did. But many years later and a little wiser, as I observe people around me more, I’ve come to appreciate those rough times because it built true character in me.

This pushed me to become innovative with the way I spent my money and how to make it. When I first understood how to torrent movies, I began selling DVDs to my teachers for $10 and when I built up a little capital, decided to sell anything that could get me money. You see, these experiences allowed me to see life not through a rose-tinted glass but the glass that’s clearest. Born from it is my love for business and entrepreneurship which to this day has stuck with me. If I didn’t go through those experiences of not having I don’t think I would have been this hungry to push myself and move forward in life. You see, the long game is not one that is wanted in todays world, people my age have grown up in an era where everything is provided quickly. From the evolution of high speed internet to Tinder, where you can easily bed more women than our ancestors could have ever imagined after no more than a 5 minute conversation. These luxuries afford us the opportunity to focus on other things; some use it to provide value for themselves and others whilst most become a permanent resident of consumer-town. Back when these things weren’t easily acquired you had to work ferociously to move up in society and because of that, people never felt entitled. They understood the long game for what it was and didn’t complain, but rather adapted to the circumstances life threw and dealt with it accordingly. This article is my first since being back and it really is for those people who are forced to live below their means for the sake of a much more fruitful tomorrow. Though it may seem that success is touching everyone but yourself, see it as success’ flirtations giving you frequent eye contact to let you know your approach is welcomed. Though you may falter and give in to temptations do not make it a frequent habit because as the Stoics believed, excessive pleasure can enslave you and create in you a dependency that must be fulfilled. If you are impulsive, learn to withhold and become more mindful. Truly study those who enjoy long term success in all spheres of their lives and one would realize that delaying pleasure today goes a long way in sustaining pleasure tomorrow. There is a popular statement in the Red Pill that goes, “Good things come to those you wait work” and it is definitely a true statement. However, be aware that though you work hard, it does not equate to instant success. Envision what you want from life, plan, execute but also be patient… true success isn’t a flame – quickly lit and quench – but rather like water – slow to build and slow to empty.

Opposites Attract

“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.” 

― John Steinbeck

From a tender age, I have always heard two trains of thought when it came to dating compatibility. On one end, there is the similarity belief that focuses on being with someone very similar to oneself; on the other is the complementarity belief that says opposites attract and one needs an opposite (of some sort) to have a successful relationship. In a blue pill, egalitarian aspiring world, the former tends to be the pushed belief for men when trying to coerce intimacy from women. Drawing from personal experience, I remember my logic of trying to identify with women as a way to attain intimacy as I believed creating as little friction as possible was the best way to her heart. Suffice it to say, as I got older I realized this belief was the furthest thing from the truth.

Blue Pill men today have been brought up in the belief that everyone is somewhat equal. This ideology has picked up an immense amount of traction over the past 20 odd years as Feminism and other groups have become major influencers in the culture – especially in the education sector. As a result, they now have significant vehicles, such as liberal universities and the film industry to push their idealized beliefs. Now, with young people having been brought up being educated by TV shows and movies, these beliefs take root from a tender age. This egalitarian belief spreads its wings into the dating game and identification game becomes the default. Since everyone is equal and male-female is deemed as ‘social constructs’, men are taught that they can act similarly to women. As such, men now believe that by behaving similarity to women, they will be noticed and appreciated for their efforts. I find myself laughing at this belief because it is clear that the evidence does not support this way of thinking. For every nice guy that changed himself to be more like the girl and was successful (define success), there are thousands of men fucking the girlfriends of guys like these. One can even observe men becoming illuminated as they post stories online bemoaning the fact that their beloved snowflakes are being pumped and dumped by assholes – men who are the complete opposite.

Through simple observation, one can see that nature is inherently unequal and somewhat opposite – this stays true for men and women. Identification game is not an effective or efficient game tactic because it doesn’t take into account that opposites truly do attract. In the eyes of a woman, she is attracted to that which she has not yet experienced. Today, we can see this happening as most girls now have become independent and are pushing to ‘explore’ and ‘experience’ life (the carousel) so she will better ‘understand herself’. Consequently, when one approaches these women with traits and likes similar to hers, she sees that individual as someone who has not yet understood himself or experienced life and thus, is not attractive. Any other man now has become much more attractive in the eyes of said woman because they all hold experiences that she has yet to explore. This is evident in Sheryl Sandberg’s famous quote:

“When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”

Quotes like these illicit aggressive responses by crushed blue pill men because they have spent their lives trying to identify and become more like women that they now see their logic has been flawed since its inception. Worse yet, these men may even agree with what Sheryl says as another way identify with the female gender – the rational of blue pill men is appalling.

The idea of making oneself similar to women is highly unattractive to women. In their own theory, they may cry and say they want such men, but in actuality it proves contradictory. Science also debunks this train of thought. Based on studies done, it sheds light on the belief between similarity vs complementarity. All participants in this study were female, so it does provide a great setting. The results shows that complementary partnerships (submissive people with dominant partners and vice versa) reported more satisfaction than did those with similar partners. Another study in 1991 found that women in complementary pairs liked each other more after interacted for 75 minutes than did women in non complementary pairs. These results suggest that complementarity between two partners enhances their attractiveness to each other. In being a dominant opposite, you provide a strong frame for the relationship to grow and for her femininity to flow. Without that masculine presence, hypergamous doubts will set in and she will take it upon herself to fill that void, whether by becoming more masculine or finding a masculine guy. In being a weak submissive, you become a beta orbiter or at best, her ‘best friend’. Similarity in the realm of inter-gender dynamics will never truly be natural or satisfactory, strive to be polarizing in your conquest as it provides the rock and frame they all yearn to live in.

Male Friendships

“Masculinity is about being a man within a group of men. Above all things, masculinity is about what men want from each other”
 ― Jack Donovan

In today’s world, genuine masculine friendships have become sort of a rarity. Film writers and directors have realized this and have been able to tap into this need by portraying characters who were surrounded with other like-minded men to go about their business. Band of Brothers, Ocean’s 11, Goodfellas, Sons of Anarchy and Hangover are all examples of such shows that epitomize brotherhood in their own unique way but evoke the same feeling from male viewers who begin to feel an emptiness in their lives if they aren’t truly part of a gang. In traditional times, boys would grow up within a core group who would have shared similar interests and had each other’s back. This came about naturally as men were pushed both directly and indirectly to make close male bonds with others who they would be able to build with. This was further pushed as boys would be given the room to be boys and through mutual struggles, being part of sports teams and fighting, a close bond would develop. However, as the world became more feminized, genuine friendships began to decrease at drastic rates and this can be seen today where millions of men are shown to have little to no close friends.

Due to the West’s prosperity and security, the life and death need (or lack thereof) to have a group of men at one’s side has also played its part. As a result, men have become much more feminine, untrustworthy and unreliable – traits that other men do not value. Added to this, the stark fatherless rates in society for young boys play a massive part as these boys grow up not knowing how to be men and what men do. Thus, masculine traits are not idealized and they grow up looking at the world from a more feminine perspective. It has also become common for men to openly boast about not having male friends or even speaking of the need for friends with disdain because “no one can be trusted”. This thorough brainwashing has created an environment where men do not see other men as individuals to build with but simply competition in the sexual market place as women are prioritized as #1.

This however is not a new phenomena since competition has always been present, but the priority to place women above a man’s interests has made male-only friendships susceptible to toxicity. Moreover, the infiltration of women into traditionally all-male spheres have also made male bonding a difficult task.  This was seen throughout history but it was permanently sealed when women began to enter into the workplace in mass numbers. The subsequent female control over men’s meet ups also etch into marriage where men now have to ‘ask permission’ from their wives to have meet-ups with other guys. Institutions that were once home to brotherhoods have now opened their gates to women and this inevitably changes the social dynamic. From a place of solitude and openness, these men are now tasked with keeping up appearances since sexual competition is added to the equation subconsciously. As soon as women enter into a male-only dynamic, the goal changes from growing better to making it comfortable enough for their presence – this ultimately defeats the purpose of these institutions. Though societies such as the Freemasons still adhere to the male-only tradition (at least in my country), there are hundreds of other institutions/groups (such as the Military) that have fallen to such a great test.

Having completed the Band of Brothers series, it was blatant how at ease and comfortable these men were among themselves while in the face of death. These men trained and fought together so much that their friendships would lead them to self-sacrifice for their brothers in arms. These are the types of friendships that have now become unimaginable since men won’t even consider putting themselves in an uncomfortable position for the sake of the other’s comfort/benefit. Having spoken to older men who didn’t see the need for friendships earlier in their lives, they have all regretted not taking the opportunity to genuinely form relationships with other men. They all stated that they have very little chance now to grieve, talk, console and the like with others since these are not genuinely possible with women. Consequently, these men become depressed and unhappy as they are not able to experience being part of a strong brotherhood. This especially affects veterans who went to war and came back home only to experience the world completely different. These guys tend to go into depression and become suicidal if they aren’t properly rehabilitated and meshed into civilized society. But, what gets them to the stage of contentment and peace? Having connected with other veterans who understand and experienced what they experienced. All the emotions and stories that they can’t speak to their wives, girlfriends and associates about would all be buried in their psyche if not for their fellow colleagues.

Jack Donovan’s “Way of Men” is an excellent resource into the benefits of forming a tribe of men to grow with. This group will help build connections that lasts as long or longer than marriage since male friendship is felt more deeply and strongly than female’s. Furthermore, these groups create a level of competition that is needed to truly evolve and become actualized. They push men to hold a standard that needs to be maintained for the sake of the group. It forms a togetherness that refines the masculinity of each member and facilitates in the expansion of their physical dominance, mental dominance and the like. Without the pressure or competition, these men become dull and easily defeated.

The need for bonding and purpose runs through the veins of all men but in the past few decades it has been wrongly channelled toward female companionship which doesn’t yield comparable benefits. Forming genuine bonds will not only make life much more exciting, it will provide opportunities for mutual growth and an edge that cannot be substituted by another.

Self-Improvement

“I wish to preach, not the doctrine of ignoble ease, but the doctrine of the strenuous life, the life of toil and effort, of labor and strife; to preach that highest form of success which comes, not to the man who desires mere easy peace, but to the man who does not shrink from danger, from hardship, or from bitter toil, and who out of these wins the splendid ultimate triumph.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Self improvement is the core of Red Pill praxeology and has been preached  in the Manosphere as the key to cultivating masculinity. In past generations, men have always been pushed on a societal level to self-improve because when men are invested into society, they control and redirect their energies in the service of a prosperous and peaceful society. However, with women now being pushed into the forefront on a societal level to self-improve into becoming more masculine, men have gradually fallen and have not seen the need or benefit to continually self-improve. Added to this the feminine-primary order where women have become the focus group in many traditionally masculine sectors. This is seen in academia, the workplace as well as churches where women have been promoted above men in key positions. As a result of this dynamic change in the West, men have lost their passion and fervor to be great and have given the mantle to women.

In my time in the Manosphere, I have seen the push for self-improvement but I have also seen the reason for this push as being one that is shortsighted in that men are self-improving to better relate to women. This is admittedly how most men are introduced to the Red Pill community and self-improvement in general, which I why I can relate to it. However, as time goes by men must come to the realization that self-improvement goes beyond better acquiring their base psychological needs (sex) and should see it as necessary to become self-actualized. When one does not see the larger picture, activities become very masturbatory. Jack Donovan in his book The Way of Men refers to these activities as those that are done with no legitimate gain attached to it. These activities are done for the novelty of it and are usually done in a safe space where there is no real danger of being hurt, no real competition and potential for “status gains”, which are all important to men. Activities such as gaming, watching sports or watching porn are all masturbatory because the ‘benefits’ associated are fleeting and usually simply simulation. To combat this, men must look toward self-improvement that adds both short term and long term benefit to their lives.

One man who epitomized legitimate self-improvement was that of Theodore Roosevelt, the former President of the United States. Roosevelt grew up weak and sickly to the disappointment of his father but as he had gotten older he began the journey of self-improvement. This journey entailed pushing himself both mentally and physically which saw him take up activities such as hiking, boxing, rowing and horseback riding. Later in his life he continued pushing his body and his mind to self-improvement which ultimately saw him writing many books, exploring Amazonian rainforests, leading infantry into World War 1 at the age of 59 and serving as President for an unprecedented 3 terms to name a few. What is important to notice is that, Roosevelt understood the need for a strenuous life of self-improvement, one which continually puts both his body and mind on the edge. Only at this point men truly understand the height of their masculinity.

As we enter into 2016 I urge both myself and fellow men to do more. Don’t just go to the gym – learn a martial art form that allows you to use that strength and teach you how to fight as this is actually beneficial in a real-life situation. Don’t watch porn – go into the real world and have sex. Don’t just read books – begin debating or writing to better your craft. Don’t live a life of video game simulation – go out into nature, hunt, hike and do things that bring true benefits into your life, this is what self-improvement is all about.