Female’s Sexuality & Marriage

In the early 1900s, both love and sex saw a massive cultural change in Russia. With the emergence of Communism at the time, they made major strides toward the idea of ‘free love’, free abortions and no-fault easy divorce in the state. This change brought about mass impregnation of women in the country without the commitment of a provider (men). This period actually coined the now used term, ‘alpha widow’ we in the Manosphere use frequently. When these women had become impregnated by these noncommittal men, the State assumed responsibility for taking care of these children and the mother. As this trend continued for years, institutions and facilities such as State daycares began filling up at unsustainable rates and this saw a steep decline in the quality of these facilities. As it became apparent that this system was not sustainable or beneficial to the country, Russia had to move from this ideology because there were not enough productive families in the nation and too few children being born and raised (as a result of a massive abortion rates). The country reverted to the previous regime that saw the criminalization of abortion and a drastic decrease in welfare benefits, forcing people to not depend on the State anymore.

Though Russia’s failed attempt in the early 1900s was widely known, a large number of young people in the United States adopted the Free Love ideology in mid to late 19th century. Since then, we still observe semblances of the ideology today – one in the form of Feminism and other associated movements that push the egalitarian beliefs of biology and sexuality. Since these movements became prominent in the culture, marriage has seen a substantial dip in success (also dip in marriage rates) and women have become more unstable when considering long term relationships and marriage. Throughout the Manosphere there is a strong held notion that if you are seeking to share a life with a woman in the terms of marriage or LTR, she must have a very low notch count (or virgin, if you can find one) or at least not be an alpha widow. Women today who hear these wants from men typically get on the defensive and proceed to argue that we are all equal and “if men can do it, so can we”. On the surface this seems fair, however we in the Manosphere know that both genders have very different mechanics which goes against the equality trope spewed by society today.

The people at Heritage Foundation did an in-depth study on premarital sex and its likely outcomes within marriage. This post will specifically touch on a few of the results they got and how it affects us men today in the realm of looking towards marriage.

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The table above shows the estimated number of sexual partners a woman will have based on how early she engaged in intercourse. This graph is important because it can help gauge the number of sexual partners your woman or potential LTR women would have had before meeting you. There are always outliers but the chances of having an outlier in your life is not very probable. Since most women do lie about their notch count once they’ve already looked at you as a ‘relationship guy’, talking about first sexual encounters in a light manner should bring her defenses down enough that she would say when she had her first sexual encounter. Upon getting this information and analyzing this graph, you should be able to gauge roughly the number of sexual partners she’s had – taking into consideration factors such as her age etc.

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Women/girls who began sexual activity in their early years (teens) have greater difficulty in forming and sustaining stable marriage. In Red Pill terminology, because they have had as much cocks at an early age, their ability to pair-bond diminishes. Girls who initiate sexual contact at ages 13 or 14 are less than half as likely to be in stable marriages once reaches their 30s.

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These particular graphs shows the the link between sexual activity and happiness/depression. More than half the women who began sexual activity at ages 21 or 22 report that they are currently ‘very happy’ in life. In contrast, only 1/3 of women who began sexual activity at ages 13-14 report they are currently ‘very happy’. In the second graph, results show that around 7% of women that started sexual activity at ages 13 or 14 report that they currently feeling unhappy.However, those who started at ages 21 or 22 only accounted for 3% unhappiness. These graphs are also crucial because you don’t want to be the guy in the  5 year relationship who hears her say that she’s bored and she needs to “find herself” to become happy.

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Women who had 0 sexual partners before marriage were estimated to have an 80% success rate in marriage. Interestingly enough, just 1 sexual partner outside of marriage drops the success rate to 53%. From here the numbers continue to decrease as sexual partner count rises. Personally, this to me is probably the most valuable graph because it gives credence to the notion that you should marry a virgin woman or at least a women with no more than 2 partner counts, though the success rate goes into the negative end at partner 2.  Lastly, a study based on data from the National Survey of Family Growth 1995 cycle involved over 6500 women showed that cohabitation before marriage was another factor that increased the risk of subsequent divorce of a couple. This is because those couples who practice cohabitation tend to not value marriage highly and are likely to divorce when stress is put onto marriage. Other than this fact, Rollo specifically touches on the idea of cohabitation and why its a terrible idea for men. One of his Iron Rules: “NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months” is pretty much spot on when compared to the statistics given above, though the reasons are different.

In conclusion, these graphs are more or less self-explanatory, it continues to give validity to the old age belief that a woman’s past is very important when gauging for LTR or marriage potential. In an age where divorce can literally ruin a man’s entire life and his empire, information such as these should be taken into consideration when making major relationship decisions. As fellow blogger McQueen once tweeted, “who you marry (if you do) will be the most important decision you ever make in life, better make sure she’s up for the job”. As such, I advise fellow men to not be naive when looking for a serious relationship with a woman and take steps to make sure you’re making the right decision.


The Romanticization of Marriage

Whilst browsing the internet a few weeks ago, I stumbled across this graph which compared the wants of both men and women with regard to their prospective significant other in the early 1900s to that of 2008. Upon analyzing the graph I couldn’t help but noticed the major increase in the importance of mutual attraction – love. During this period I was presently doing research on marriage prior but upon coming across the graph it emphasized my need to get a better understanding of romantic love and its historical beginnings. After much reading, I decided to write this article which will talk about the history of marriage, romantic love and the relevant science on the subject.

Marriage in past generations has been described as the union between two individuals but with an extreme importance on the extended family. Young people growing up within a community or tribe would have gotten married through arrangements made by elders in the family/community. This was done because marriage was looked at as the union of two economically interdependent families rather than solely two individual people. This system can be traced back to ancient hunter-gather times where marriage brought various kin groups together to coalesce resources. Men would hunt and share food among the kin groups whilst women gathered foods served as the steady base for the families’ diet. As time went and resources became abundant, this dynamic evolved and various kin groups began breaking away from extended families and gaining prestige. Over time this allowed the creation of small elite groups with commoners below and marriage then began as a way to gain alliances among differing classes. Individuals had little to no say in who they would marry, instead parents, neighbors and states decided which unions would be most productive for both the families involved and society/tribe at large. At this point though extended family gradually lost its initial importance, romantic love was not looked at as important in comparison to economic stability and spiritual union. However, this idea changed dramatically during the late 19th century, also known as the Romantic Era.

The late 19th century saw the transformation of the West from an agricultural to industrial based society. This period saw the rise of media and visual arts: operas, plays, dramas, paintings and films. It was through these various avenues that the pursuit of romantic love, particularly in association with marriage began to take place. During this period there was resistance and push back by men and women from the Church and State. The movement revolted against convention and authority with more focus on the search for freedom in personal, political and artistic life. It saw the death of rationalism and a revival of nation’s history and the push for  the liberation of  the oppressed people of the earth. With these events taking place, marriage met a new focus where there was growing intimacy, emotionalism and sentimentalism of family life. Since the arts became a staple in western culture, what was shown and portrayed influenced society to a significant degree. In addition to this, the idea was able to be driven the way it did as a result of the West becoming an industrial based society where capitalism allowed people for the first time in history, the ability to enjoy a high level of freedom, progress, achievement, wealth and physical comfort. As a result, marriage now became viewed as a pursuit of individual happiness rather than an economic necessity.

From the period of the late 19th century to that of today, society has seen the upsurge in divorce rates, infidelity and decreased happiness in marriage. The reason for this is directly as a result of the change in the foundational perspective of marriage. To show why romantic love can not be used as the base for marriage, one has to look at the science behind romantic love.

Based on studies done by Dr. Helen Fisher, it was observed that people who were in love – when shown a picture of their loved-one, displayed heightened levels of activity in the Caudate Nucleus of the brain which is responsible for the mind’s engine for arousal, sensations of pleasure and the motivation to gain rewards. Further tests highlighted that romantic love is associated with increased levels of dopamine because the Ventral Tegmental Area (where the reward system of the brain is located) is also the center for dopamine-making cells. Low levels of Serotonin – which is responsible for maintaining mood balance – also plays a major part in the process as it produces the obsession of one’s mate, which is also central to romantic love. However, as Red Pill theology teaches, romance fades as attachment grows. Increasing levels of hormone oxytocin, which produces feeling and behaviors of attachment lowers Dopamine, resulting in decreased romantic passion. Further tests were done, this time by London scientists Bartels and Zaki. Their experiment on love showed that subjects were generally in a state of being ‘in love’ for an average 2.3 years. After this period, when the men and women were shown the pictures of their beloved, activity was shown in the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC) and Insular Cortex, while 7 month lovers showed none. The ACC is the region where emotions, memories and attention interact. This established that as relationships lengthen, the brain regions associated with emotions, memories and attention respond in news ways. In LTRs, feelings of love and attachment are still present but excitement and romantic ecstasy has disappeared due to the decline in dopamine. This waning of passion is often viewed by most individuals in the West as the loss of love and therefore warrants the end of a relationship and a dire for new romance.

These tests no doubt coincide with the current divorce statistics which show that most marriages fail during the first 5-10 years. It is no coincidence that with this cultural change in perspective that divorce rates have spiked in most Western countries. It also gives a factual reason as to why the levels of affairs within marriages have increased. Both men and women have become so  addicted to the feeling of being in love that once the passion dwindles (which will ultimately occur) in the confines of marriage, they look elsewhere for quick fixes. These affairs also usually last a year or two because the passion dwindle.

The idea of romantic love being used as the base for marriage should be abandoned, especially by men since there is more to lose. As Red Pill men it is of extreme importance to not be carried away by the gripping effect of infatuation when making possibly the most important decision of ones life. Marriage affects one financially, emotionally, physically and once children become involved, it enters a whole new stratosphere. As such, vet your potential spouse as best as you can, continue to lead and never let romance cloud your judgement. Characteristics such as dependable character, good health, chastity, housekeeping abilities and fertility should all come before the fleeting feeling of lust… choose wisely.