Opposites Attract

“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.” 

― John Steinbeck

From a tender age, I have always heard two trains of thought when it came to dating compatibility. On one end, there is the similarity belief that focuses on being with someone very similar to oneself; on the other is the complementarity belief that says opposites attract and one needs an opposite (of some sort) to have a successful relationship. In a blue pill, egalitarian aspiring world, the former tends to be the pushed belief for men when trying to coerce intimacy from women. Drawing from personal experience, I remember my logic of trying to identify with women as a way to attain intimacy as I believed creating as little friction as possible was the best way to her heart. Suffice it to say, as I got older I realized this belief was the furthest thing from the truth.

Blue Pill men today have been brought up in the belief that everyone is somewhat equal. This ideology has picked up an immense amount of traction over the past 20 odd years as Feminism and other groups have become major influencers in the culture – especially in the education sector. As a result, they now have significant vehicles, such as liberal universities and the film industry to push their idealized beliefs. Now, with young people having been brought up being educated by TV shows and movies, these beliefs take root from a tender age. This egalitarian belief spreads its wings into the dating game and identification game becomes the default. Since everyone is equal and male-female is deemed as ‘social constructs’, men are taught that they can act similarly to women. As such, men now believe that by behaving similarity to women, they will be noticed and appreciated for their efforts. I find myself laughing at this belief because it is clear that the evidence does not support this way of thinking. For every nice guy that changed himself to be more like the girl and was successful (define success), there are thousands of men fucking the girlfriends of guys like these. One can even observe men becoming illuminated as they post stories online bemoaning the fact that their beloved snowflakes are being pumped and dumped by assholes – men who are the complete opposite.

Through simple observation, one can see that nature is inherently unequal and somewhat opposite – this stays true for men and women. Identification game is not an effective or efficient game tactic because it doesn’t take into account that opposites truly do attract. In the eyes of a woman, she is attracted to that which she has not yet experienced. Today, we can see this happening as most girls now have become independent and are pushing to ‘explore’ and ‘experience’ life (the carousel) so she will better ‘understand herself’. Consequently, when one approaches these women with traits and likes similar to hers, she sees that individual as someone who has not yet understood himself or experienced life and thus, is not attractive. Any other man now has become much more attractive in the eyes of said woman because they all hold experiences that she has yet to explore. This is evident in Sheryl Sandberg’s famous quote:

“When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”

Quotes like these illicit aggressive responses by crushed blue pill men because they have spent their lives trying to identify and become more like women that they now see their logic has been flawed since its inception. Worse yet, these men may even agree with what Sheryl says as another way identify with the female gender – the rational of blue pill men is appalling.

The idea of making oneself similar to women is highly unattractive to women. In their own theory, they may cry and say they want such men, but in actuality it proves contradictory. Science also debunks this train of thought. Based on studies done, it sheds light on the belief between similarity vs complementarity. All participants in this study were female, so it does provide a great setting. The results shows that complementary partnerships (submissive people with dominant partners and vice versa) reported more satisfaction than did those with similar partners. Another study in 1991 found that women in complementary pairs liked each other more after interacted for 75 minutes than did women in non complementary pairs. These results suggest that complementarity between two partners enhances their attractiveness to each other. In being a dominant opposite, you provide a strong frame for the relationship to grow and for her femininity to flow. Without that masculine presence, hypergamous doubts will set in and she will take it upon herself to fill that void, whether by becoming more masculine or finding a masculine guy. In being a weak submissive, you become a beta orbiter or at best, her ‘best friend’. Similarity in the realm of inter-gender dynamics will never truly be natural or satisfactory, strive to be polarizing in your conquest as it provides the rock and frame they all yearn to live in.

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Emotions

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
― Oscar Wilde

As men grow in their pursuits of becoming the best versions of themselves, they are forced to alter many of their beliefs and routines. This is especially relevant when it comes to bedding high quality women as the stakes become higher and more adjustments need to be made. Based on my experiences and conversations with other young men, there is a misconception that emotions are a sign of weakness, and as men we should not tap into that space frequently. However, a look at  great men throughout history as well as men who are truly great with women, will tell you that emotions does have its place in a man’s life, especially in game. If a man sticks strictly rational and logical in his pursuits of women, this becomes a crutch to his evolution because women are inherently emotional creatures. What does this mean? It means that emotions are to be embraced and used as a tool, just like everything else in the Red Pill praxeology to have a more successful life.

Im not advocating for men to become more emotional but rather to use emotions in a way that  helps create more successful relationships. Personally, I truly believe men are to be the rock of any relationship – may it be a one night stand or LTR. However, as your game becomes more refined, you begin to understand that emotions are a crucial part of acquiring and maintaining great relations with women. As men, we do not have the luxury of fully enjoying the thrills of love as women do. They are able to wholeheartedly lose themselves in these emotions while we are left having to create those moments. By remaining completely stoic in your pursuits of wanting to bed women, the passions of love/lust are not explored and the highs and lows women yearn for are not satiated. This pushes them to search for someone who will satisfy these wants and thus, feelings toward you become even more fleeting.

Women yearn after the emotional thrills a man can give her. As soon as she experiences it, she becomes addicted to these feelings and will always look for her fix. Take for example alpha men who became beta during the course of a relationship. One of the main reasons why they become this way is due to them not being able to have the emotional impact they had prior and as stated, this drives a woman toward men who can give her these feelings. These emotions need not be happy emotions, but it can also be feelings of anger, jealously (dread) and even hate. This is why hate-sex/make-up sex is usually so passionate; the emotional high a woman experiences surpasses the banal alterations of her emotions on a daily basis.

Fundamentally, this is one of the key facets that separate alphas from betas. Alphas are able to unlock and unleash an emotional state, either high or low that makes him the man she craves. Betas, by being supplicant sabotage themselves by playing nice because it gives no high or low, but rather platitudinous routine. From a meta standpoint, this cannot be any more truer. Women have been given untold luxury our ancestors never dreamt imaginable yet, instead of building off these luxuries by having a stable life, in their prime years they ride the carousel to find themselves. As Red Pill aware men we understand the dynamic at work – Alpha Fucks/Beta Bux – however, you can also observe that the primary elevates her emotional state whilst the latter levels it.

There is an inherent want from women to explore their heightened emotional senses where they can simply let go and be completely carried away in the moment. Emotions for this matter, becomes the essential tool needed to get her to this state. Make her feel love, hate, jealously, envy and the like and she will always come back for more. For a woman, a heightened state of emotional activity whether it be positive or negative will always trump numbing expectancy; as soon as you understand this, women’s feelings toward you will increase exponentially. As the sentiment goes, it is much better to be loved or hated by a woman than it is for her to feel indifferent toward you – use emotions well and you will always be the man she comes to for her fix.

Attraction and Arousal

When the transition from a blue pill mindset to the red pill occurs, men’s views on inter-gender dynamic shifts from one of illusion to actuality. With the knowledge acquired about women’s dual sexual nature, men now grasp the difference between what it is to be attractive and what it is to be arousing. This can be easily explained in the much understood Alpha Fucks/Beta Bux dichotomy. In this particular context, attraction encapsulates the qualities that are beneficial to women in the long term as a provider. Men who satisfy the beta bux side of the equation typically have the ability to provide for a family, ensure stability (both emotional and financial), has an overinflated level of respect for women and their imperative, understanding and are generally nice guys. Counter to this are those men who evoke feelings of detachment and instability; they are looked at as the fleeting thrills a woman enjoys before she settles down with the attractive man. They are typically dominant, good looking (though not always), narcissistic and utilizes the dark arts in their favor. A man can be both attractive and arousing, however, most women tend to have a binary perspective on sexual market players and will thus categorize men accordingly. This is especially relevant in countries where Hypergamy is open and even embraced in the culture – similar to that of the U.S. and European countries.

Following a woman’s initial introduction and analysis of a man, she quickly categories him into  either two of the aforementioned groups which would alter her behavior for the rest of the relationship. “I’d never sleep with a guy on the first date if he is relationship material”, is a quote that is spewed by many women when it comes to dealing with those they find attractive or arousing. I have heard beautiful women say this to me in conversation and it is not limited to a specific appearance but rather the general female population. Both attractive and unattractive, women share this belief because they exist within a society that has accepted their dual nature while supplying men to satisfy both biological needs. In a properly functioning society where women are held accountable for their actions and are chastised for prioritizing their feral nature, this belief would not be shared, at least not openly. Though Islamic countries do not experience most of the joys Westerners do, when it comes to the sexual dynamic they have not and will not allow open hypergamy to take its place on a societal level. As a result, women are forced to live in the boxes men create for them and any alterations could mean fatal punishments.

In Western culture, one of their main issues men face because of feminine-primary brainwashing, is the belief that what makes a man attractive also makes him arousing. This is  also an ideology shared amongst most blue pill men who believe in what women say they are aroused by. The problem with asking women this question is that the man she frames in her mind is a default alpha who she wishes to tame. The traits that she calls out are those she wishes the arousing man can also possess to satisfy her alpha/beta desires which would benefit her both short and long term. This mindset, ’the alpha with a side of beta’ is truly what women desire to have in a man but it fails at its inception because an alpha male cannot also be a beta male, especially in the mind of a woman. Men who attempt to satisfy by playing both sides of the coin are bound to fail because for each beta trait that is shown, authenticity is questioned until the man reaches a point where he is deemed as an inauthentic alpha male, or simply a beta male. In most women’s eyes, an alpha is born not created, and if they find out they are being deceived, your existence in their eyes will quickly disappear. The toil and hard work of becoming a more dominant man should not be advertised because an alpha cannot be created. If you became an alpha through hard work, you are inauthentic in her eyes and she will show contempt to you for trying to cheat the sexual marketplace. This is why there is no ‘alpha with a side of beta’, because in being fluid, she sees you as not being who you truly are and she will not dare entertain the thought of being with a man who is not genuine.

Arousal and attraction in the eyes of a woman is a battle between her primal nature and that of the mind. Primal nature will always extend towards an arousing man but a smart woman will choose an attractive man as to ensure her long-term well being. A cunning woman however, will mingle amongst those arousing until her expiry date when an attractive man becomes the priority.

Dominance and Leadership: Relationships

“…Masculinity pertains to male dominance as femininity pertains to female subordination.” – Sheila Jeffreys

Recently I was conversing with a girl in my life when she mentioned her satisfaction with the dynamic we hold in our relationship. She referred to the dynamic that assumes me as the leader and herself, the follower. For most men, this dynamic is one that does not exist in their favor since women of this generation are brought up being taught that men are nothing without them and they need to control men’s interests. This is particularly prevalent because men have also been indoctrinated in the belief that they should just be grateful to have women in their lives. However, these teachings of a matriarchal system goes against the nature of female sexual arousal. Power and superiority, two of the essential traits that trigger arousal in a woman, is needed for a relationship to be become and remain successful. By men accepting a secondary role, they covertly imply that their women are superior and this implication diminishes any emotion (other than contempt) very quickly. This creates a social and sexual dynamic where men are required to constantly aim for approval or else they are not considered ‘real men’. They are advised to follow what they are told (“I’d have to ask my wife/girlfriend if I can…”) and women’s wants are prioritized above their individual interests.

Historically, men have been the leaders in society and by extension, relationships and the family unit. Though this entailed making all major decisions – both easy and difficult – as well as always being ‘on’, men enjoyed and thrived in this position. Because men are wired to be natural leaders and problem solvers, this position typically allowed them to actualize their potential which helped both the family and society at large. In a patriarchy, women expect their men to be strong, decisive and masculine because they understand that these traits ultimately make their lives more fulfilling than it is. Only these women understand that by assuming the responsibility of being the assistant in the relationship that they get more out of life. The truth is, a woman deeply craves a dominant leader in her life. However, because of the current social standing and women’s adeptness for the cunning, if men are subservient, women will not vocalize their want for a powerful man. They may continue to be in a relationship but it is usually for the ego strokes they will receive by controlling the dynamic and consequently, controlling the resources men would be able to provide that they cannot acquire on their own.

In being a submissive provider, a woman may be attracted to the idea of becoming the primary individual in a relationship, but she will never be aroused or respect it. In matters of love, arousal trumps attraction and respect does the same with love. One of the disservices men have and continue to face today is the notion that they are able to experience love in the same way a woman does. Understand this – only a woman can experience the emotional entirety of love in a way that does not make her unattractive. It is men who, regardless of emotion, must be the immovable foundation in this dynamic. This means that you don’t give yourself to fleeting feelings of love but you guide that feeling in her to make the relationship successful. Women will die believing they want a man that gives his all to her, but as soon as this wish is granted, she will feed off those vulnerabilities until there is nothing left to offer her. If you listen to any woman talk about an alpha male she is in love with, you will hear similar themes of the guy not being open with her and not changing for her. Question is, why do they not leave these relationships? It is simple, the guy is leading her into a plethora of emotions that only he can weather. As soon as he gives in and does what she says (following), she loses interest because she is in the unnatural position of leading.

From the outside looking in, the allure of leading may push a woman to want it but as soon as she is in the eye of the storm, she wishes for her Superman to rescue her. Only until you realize and actualize your masculine, dominant nature will you be able to attract, keep and satisfy the women in your life.

Dominance and Leadership: Culture

“An aura of dominance creates a magnetic bubble; leadership provides the direction in which that bubble travels” – Newly Sharpened

Men’s dominance and leadership throughout history has always been the driving force of a functional and thriving society. Leaders of men were championed and admired since it projected the ideal masculine experience and as a result, children looked up to them in admiration and fellow men showed immense respect. As an extension of this, their dominance and productivity were seen by women as highly attractive and arousing. This social standing and dominance forced women to try everything in their will to make themselves valuable enough to become  potential wives to these men. Furthermore, they desired big families since reproducing with dominant males meant strong, competitive genes would be passed on.

However, what happens when male dominance and leadership becomes demonized by a culture? the culture begins to destroy itself whilst its women subconsciously hope for balance to be restored. The duality of nature, especially masculine and feminine energy has always been needed for a society to fully actualize its potential. By emasculating a country’s men, a society voluntarily and/or involuntarily invites foreign men from more dominant cultures to restore this balance. A quick look at the immigrant welcoming countries shows the result of a female run society – as Chateau rightfully states, “men invade, women invite”. Since the welcoming of these foreigners, Germany and Sweden have reported rape epidemics, spike in crime rates and fear amongst citizens. The irony in all of this are the reports from multiple women calling for men to protect them. The same women who demonized violence and ‘male culture’ are now the ones demonizing men for not being strong or aggressive enough, alas, damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Female nature in an environment of violence and hostility tend to look towards their men to become more of the masculine archetype that is needed to secure survival for themselves and their family. However, when society becomes prosperous, and violence becomes much more obscure and covert, female nature thrives. At this point, a woman’s Machiavellian make up will begin to find ways in which to gain the most out of this prosperity. The men that they leaned on to secure their survival becomes the same individuals that they attempt to change, to become more subservient and sensitive. This poses as an internal quandary for most beta men because they believe by identifying with them, they become more attractive. This however is a grave mistake; when a female attempts to alter your habits, ideologies and thought processes, this in itself is a shit test. On a societal level, European men have failed this shit test by giving into the demands of Feminists and other movements that attack men in order to ‘empower’ themselves. They have taken the position of being lead rather than leading.

Nevertheless, as true to female nature, when they do succeed in getting what they want, they then search for what they now don’t have. In this context, masculinity becomes what they yearn for as society fails to offer them men that they can respect and therefore love. Looking into the birth rate most national couples have in these societies show that the women have little to no interest in passing on the couple’s genes. There are many factors that affect this but there can be a strong case that when a society becomes much more feminized, women are not inclined to make much children, if any at all. If this state remains, as is the case with many European countries, these women vote for policies that ensure the invitation of more alpha males into their lands under the guise of a humanitarian effort. Initially, this may be genuine but as these foreign men show themselves to be a sharp contrast to that of national beta males, they begin to become more attracted to them.

Slowly, as this trend continues, these foreign men become the dominant species in the land and they become the leaders of the society through attaining public (governmental and community) and private (business) positions of power. A look through the history books will show that this trend is not particularly new. The book ‘The Fate of Empires’ (I advise my readers to read this books in light of world events) details the trends through history that preceded the decline and subsequent fall of great empires. Interestingly enough: an influx of foreigners, a welfare state, the loss of a sense of duty and deferring political positions and power to women were all trends that followed the destruction of these empires. However, this all comes about through the softening of men in the nation as they have enjoyed prosperity for an extended period of time. They become more dominant intellectually but not physically; feminine but not masculine; following but not leading.

Unfortunately, I believe this decline is at a stage where enjoying seems much more beneficial than undertaking the responsibility of righting society’s wrongs. We have entered a time where transgenderism, homosexuality and nihilism are celebrated and deemed as bravery we should all admire. True male virtues are branded as evil and everything that goes against the male function and nature are not progressive enough to hold clout in the public eye. Change will only come when war breaks out and men are forced to pick up their weapons and embrace their primal, dominant nature that has brought society this far.

Resurrection

Conditioning

There comes a time in every man’s life where he goes about his existence just as he was conditioned to. Conditioning is a very interesting concept because the thoughts that are attached to it. Even in the manosphere we frown upon anything thats closely related to the word conditioning because of our, previous beta-conditioning. However, regardless of our thoughts, it is and will continue to be a critical aspect of our lives because it influences all behavior. My personal belief is founded in understanding that we cannot be truly and completely free because we were created to be a slave to something or someone. The universe connects everyone and everything together, what you do will have an affect on someone or something either directly and/or indirectly. Ironically, Buddhism touches on this connection whilst cultivating a mindset of never growing attached. To be completely free would mean disconnecting ourselves with things that affect us, which is humanly impossible. If you’re religious, this concept would be easily swallowed because with the existence of God and Devil, everything you do will fall into the categories of serving either master. This slave concept, even if you do not believe in a higher power, is seen with matters of the carnal, both mental and physical. If we look back at the decisions made throughout our lives, we see that it was based on pure physical and mental needs/wants or restrictions. I think what must be noted is that we are against false conditioning, which is conditioning that is not founded on truth but rather lies. In the act of alpha-ing up and cultivating a more masculine mindset, we recondition our mind but we see no fault in it because its foundation lays in truth.

Plugged and Loved

The disturbing yet interesting thing about being conditioned is the personal belief that you’re in control of your life. However, Red Pillers (RPers) know that being born post 1950 automatically puts men at an extreme disadvantage with regards to living life in a masculine way and this directly affects our relationships with women, colleagues and our natural way of thinking. In drawing attention to my personal ‘conversion’ experience, a year ago I was living my life the way I was subconsciously taught how to. Being 20 at the time, I was already in the mindset of taking myself off of the SMP by being in a monogamous relationship with eyes set on LTR going into marriage. Growing up in a christian home, this was the way the church outlined life with regards to relationships. My father, though being a strong evangelical christian has always lived life with Red Pill binoculars when dealing with women and because of this, though I was very much beta in understanding women, I was still exposed to certain truths. Not wanting to get into petty details, there was a girl in my life that played a key role in me seeing the truth. I knew and liked her since the age of 12 and when we reconnected in 2014 she was already in a monogamous relationship with the “asshole” archetype. I decided to do the ‘correct’ thing and express my extreme feelings towards her when we began talking again and played the waiting game. Before many of you come to your conclusions, I must note that though I was beta, I had some degree of game and was not a complete emotional tampon. Long story short, I pursued until they finally broke up and was able to have a small level of sexual relations with her until I didn’t feel the connection anymore and simply let it go.

During those 8 months of pursuing, she introduced me to a number of people, one of which would later on show me the path to the Red Pill. At that time I was personally delving into the topic of masculinity and was reading a few sites like the Art of Manliness. Being opened to sites like these gave me some perspective but I wanted to know more. Some time went by and the aforementioned friend and I had a conversation via Facebook on marriage and it occurred to me that his beliefs were very much against the societal norm. From that initial conversation, we were able to cultivate a mutual friendship and he began to introduce me to Red Pill concepts through the use of sites such as TheRationalMale, ReturnOfKings and RooshV.

Resistance

When faced with statements and opinions that are alien and go against many of your fundamental beliefs, it unsettles you. Your first instinct is to resist and begin to rationalize why your beliefs are what they are and going back into the idea of conditioning, if all you know has been X, Y seems hostile and very incorrect, almost morally perverse. Rollo’s article on unplugging really struck home because it clearly identified the stages I was going through. Looking at things from an objective standpoint, it seemed very rational but when your ego investments are questioned, you still have doubt lingering after every comment. Three months after hesitantly swallowing the Red Pill and observing social dynamics, it became undeniable that the philosophy exposed many truths. I began to notice how females manipulated men with their feigned interest and how they were placed on a pedestal by society. Looking beyond women individually, I began to see how society as a whole altered their way of thinking when a woman was placed as the focus and the privileges they garnered. I could no longer resist the truth.

Resurrection

As of right now, I have been a year completely unplugged and constantly rewiring. The journey has not been easy but life’s greatest gifts are rewarded to those who go through trials and tribulations. However, I also recognize the blessing that has been bestowed on me by being exposed to these truths at the beginning of my adult life; my heart goes out to those in their 30s+ who have been dealt poor hands by life and have now come to accept these truths. But as with being a man, one must adapt to life accordingly and take everything he can.

In continuing to sharpen my masculinity, I felt the spark to contribute to the Manosphere that has empowered me, by highlighting personal observations and giving my thoughts on a eclectic range of topics from the perspective of a young Red Piller who resides in the Caribbean. I do not wish to give a step by step guide on How to Be a Man™, as I am not at such a stage to do so. My place in the Manosphere will simply be to give a perspective of a Red Pill man in the Caribbean – which has not yet been totally taken over by feminism and other new Western thought.