It has been over a year since I’ve updated my blog though I have been active on my Twitter page. The main reasons for this being the need for me to settle into a new environment. Back in December I completed by Bachelors and about a week after, I was fortunate enough to land a management position at a small company. Coming into the new year my focus was on going full Monk Mode as I saw many areas needing to be improved in my life, but, I was not able to get into that zone. I attribute it to a level of mental burnout having just finished a long semester and getting straight into the workforce. Added to this, I recently launched a media company and have been busy making connections and ‘rubbing elbows’ with the right folks.
Added to that, just last week my relationship of 4 years ended and it hit me harder than I thought it would have. I knew her for over 10 years and been with her before I swallowed the Red Pill so the last remnants of that life has basically withered away. This isn’t to say I was in a Blue Pill relationship by any stretch, she was feminine, young, eager to please and had no notches before me. But, she wanted a level of commitment that I could not have fully given to her. She knew I had other women in my life and for the first 3 years this seemed not to be too much of a problem but in the past year when she confided that she loved me, this etched away slowly on her soul until she couldn’t take it any longer. I knew for about 6 months that the relationship was on borrowed time, we did crazy stuff, had lots of fun and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, but in the back of my mind I knew it would rear its ugly head again – which it did.
As a man who tries to incorporate Stoic habits in his life, as well as being ‘Red Pill’, I understand all these things and will overcome them. But for now I am fully experiencing the range of emotions this situation handed me and navigating through it the best way I can. Much thanks also to Mark, Goldmund and all the other guys for gifting me with advice and well wishes. As for now, contemplation and introspection is what I will be doing while I move forward. Public writing is still not in the plans, but when the time comes you all would know.